I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Dignity is for republicans.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
