I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
