It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
