im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
