Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
