I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
