you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
