i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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