fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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