oh god the rape fog is back!
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
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