I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
