I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
