Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
