Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I AM VODKA MAN
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
We had sex on a dog bed..
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
