Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
