you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
