I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
