We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
