Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
