quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
