My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
