Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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