You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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