look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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