i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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