My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
