I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
