seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
