i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Watching her eat just hurts me
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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