Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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