Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
