Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
