Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
