Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
