i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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