I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
