I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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