it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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