So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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