my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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