Soap is not a condiment
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
