ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize
