shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i love accidental penises.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
