hotel room ftw
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
