brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
