he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
