I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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