You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
