hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
