Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
